but your soul is right next to me

and when i cry, your licking the tears off my cheek.

and i won't use past tense

because you'll always be you

and you'll always be the best

and you'll always be the bravest

you'll always be my best friend

and the rains gonna fall

and its going to wash away the time

it'll soak my hair, and soak your blanket

but it can't wash away your smile

it can't wash away my memory

and it can never wash away the love that i will forever have for you

its coming back again

just like summer

after days of no human contact

no sunlight.

just the glare of my electronics

the only light that greets me comes through the pane

oh what a pain !

this insanity is.

but yet i love it.

its like the portal through which my subconscious can finally surface

and i can finally get the gasp of air.

since the ice won't let me breathe.

a long time ago i posted a journal with hair tips and whatnot, but instead of a journal, how about a video !

i can show you what products i use, how i do my hair, or even how to cut your own hair :D

if you want mt to do a video just leave a comment with a question and once i get a good amount of questions i'll make a video for you guys. sound cool ?

(:

(none of this is from personal experience, i was just inspired by alice in wonderland and factory girl)

-people that say we are the only beings in this universe are pretty selfish. with everything we've yet to discover there has to be some other form of being. some other world where we are, but its the opposite of us, or maybe exactly the same. are objects that we consider inanimate, living in these other worlds ? i bet we could find out.

-if trees can scream, can they smile ? can they laugh ? can we learn to sense these emotions. can we alter their emotions ?

-what if my parents had never gotten divorced. would they be miserable ? would i be miserable ? would we have elliot ? what if i never met morgan ? would i be as happy as i am now ? would i still be quiet and reserved ?

-we can never perceive something the same way another person would. we haven't witnessed their lives. the highs and the lows. we can't taste the same taste as some one, or smells something the same way, certain colors may trigger flashbacks to a traumatic time.

-if something is traumatic enough to cause a biological difference in some one's brain and cause an alter ego, don't you think the situation or whatever it was could have been stopped ? do people realize they're causing certain disorders ? what if some one isn't crazy they're just extremely different. we've been told all our lives that difference is good, and to stand out. what if those people were simply following what they were told ?

-do babies actually think when they're in the womb ? if so it would probably happen during the last month of pregnancy. therefore aborting the baby wouldn't do damage to it. they haven't learn the difference between pleasure and pain. what if during the time you can get an abortion the nerve cells haven't fully developed, or developed at all. then they wouldn't feel anything. and aborting the baby would be ethical. if some one feels so strongly to abort their unborn child then maybe they weren't meant to be in this world. that baby could have killed your child, or some one close to you, and you wanted it to live. all you know is that you've been told its killing, and you associate killing with being bad.

-what if a cure for any disease could have been simple. like diabetes, we can do wonders with cells and genes. why don't you inject cells with dna coding that would make usable insulin, or has a certain chromosome. it would then be able to reproduce and in enough time the person wouldn't be diabetic. but then is that a certain yes to getting cancer ? hmm.

-there's people that react so extremely to death. if reincarnation is true then the soul of that person would go into another living thing. therefore the person you lost is somewhere among you, you just have to find them. is that why certain animals can just understand us so well ? or why some animals are so drawn to certain people ?

-people always say to live every day like its your last. but there's some things you just can't do. like i'd like to fly to saturn. but i can't. what you really should do is embrace everything you sense in a normal day. like when you smell something you love, really embrace it, who knows, you might lose your sense of smell. in which case you'd lose a lot of your sense of taste. see amazing things, because you might be blind the next day.

-no one ever really knows everything about themselves. everyone is in a constant state of progression. your constantly growing and learning more and more about yourself. there's always something to learn. there's things about you in your subconscious that you don't even know. you probably don't even know half of everything about yourself. grow.

-animals weren't put on this earth just to simply eat; especially not by 'god.' if god is our savior and controls everyone and knows they're destiny why is there so much killing and violence ? don't you think some one like that wouldn't put something on the earth just to be violently tortured until death ? is that some one you really want to follow ? you wouldn't worship a serial killer, would you ? whats the difference

-words aren't bad. they're just letters formed to together to make specific sounds. you add the meaning to it. you make them bad.

i'll end up adding more. i'll definitely be adding more :D but yeah add your thoughts and whatnot.

so i was thinking and seeing if he inspired me.

and i realized that he did. after thinking about his story, and how he barely had enough to live. normally people like that just think that they won't get too far and shouldn't even bother with having dreams, but obama definitely didn't have that state of mind; thank god. obama went from barely being able to live, to being the president of the united states. the next time i hear some one say that dreams dont't come true i'll just make them stop and think and look at obama's life. he really is a huge inspiration to anyone.

my family, we've got money, almost enough. we can get by nicely with some to spend on nice things; my mom is a little bit tighter with money. the way i am, i'll make sure i'm not being a burden with expenses, which causes me to think twice about my future, i'd love to go to john's hopkins and get a ph.d in psychology, but i don't think my family could pay for it. so i'm thinking about going other places, and just settling for what i can get. but if obama can go from what he was at to being the president and not doubting himself, so now i know that i can fufill every aspect of my dreams like he did. whenever i start to doubt myself i think of how barack obama won againts all odds and had millions of people telling him that he couldn't and i feel like i can do anything.

thank you for being born barack obama ! haha

this was going to be better but i'm so excited i can't even think straight xD

one day my friends had blue dye since they were dying parts of their hair blue,so they were like you should dye your little blonde spot blue !
so i tried it out
and then i liked it
and i wanted more blue, so i put it more blue
then, i got purple dye when we went to washington dc
and i thought why not put it in my bangs
and i liked that
and so on and so forth

the main reason why i have so many colors in my hair
and i wear so many colors

is because if something happens to me
and i become blind one day
i want to have been able to know that i took advantage of being able to see
and i saw as many beautiful colors as i could
colors that make me happy.

whats so wrong with that
honestly ?

people have told me before that they were feeling kinda bleh, but they saw me and my hair and it made them happy, people have told my mom that when they look at me they get a good feeling. they like my hair because they see it as a form of artwork and it makes them happy that i'm expressing myself in a creative way

i'm sorry i'd like to express myself in a way that makes me happy !?

in fact, if it were up to me, my hair would be long and all brown, because i've wanted to go back to my natural color for about six months now. it would be the reason why i'm growing my hair out. i'd dye it all brown now, except it won't go over the colors very well, it would look bad with the cut of my hair, and of course i'm still emotionally attached to my colors because it makes me happy too

i've said this plently of times before, its your fault if you don't believe me.

dying hair- 

i've found that the best hair dye is special effects, its given me the most intense vibrant colors, and trust me i've tried a lot of stuff.

so if your wanting to know what i use for my hair, here you go (:

for the pink in my bangs- special effects virgin rose

the purple in my bangs- special effects pimpin purple

the blue- special effect fishbowl mixed with the color fiend turq tsunami

green- special effects limelight

orange/yellow- mixure of special effects napalm and colorfiend lightening bolt.

the best way to get the colors showing up their best is by using a really good bleach. i use the raw white out kit from hot hopic :D it gets my hair really light really fast with almost no damage. its alwas a good idea to deep condition the day after bleaching. i always use the pantene time renewal deep conditioner, it smells good and works really well. and then after normal wasshing i use the herbal essences long term relationship split end treatment. it makes my hair really soft, anyone who touches it can't believe how soft my hair is ^-^

and remember even if a salon says their dye is permanent unatural colors will always fade, so be ready with a bottle of dye for when that day comes.

shampoo and conditoner-

i absolutely love herbal essences, its the best shampoo and conditioner that i've used. since i really want my hair to be long i use the long term relationship line, but my hair never likes to straighten when its short, so i use a little bit of the dangerously straight line too (: and the past few times i've used a teeeny bit of the hello hydration and my hair has been a bit healthier :D then put some of the split end treatment i mentioned earlier on after washing when your hair is still wet. the more you use the softer your hair will be, but remember, if you use too much you hair with feel gunky and gross. (i go for about four squirts)

then just let it air dry :D if you can't wait or your in a rush, then just make sure you spray a bit of tresseme heat protector in your hair so you don't damage it with the heat.

styling-

once your hair is all nice and dry make sure you spray lots of heat protecor in your hair making sure it gets on all of it, the more protected the better, although make sure not to use too much because it'll become gunky and weigh your hair down.

now since i straighten my hair this is what i do: make sure not to put your straightener on the hottest setting if you don't actually need to, i found out that i don't have to have my straightner as hot as it can get to straighten my hair, so experiment with your hair. i use the tresseme tres two hairspray, it works really well for me. use as much as you need, but not so much your hair is hard. if you accidentally use to much just get a fine toothed comb and comb it out :D make sure you add a bit of extra hairspray to the ends to keep your style throughout the day.

now i'm not going to go into curling your hair since mine never holds a curl and i don't know all about it, but you can ask me something and i'll give you my input. i do know a bit about it, just not everything :p

cutting-

being able to cut your own hair is a lifesaver for when your really picky about your hair. its actually pretty simple too, just make sure you have sharp scissors so that your hair will be cut and not torn (:

and you have to do is take a small section of hair in your first two fingers, hold the scissor straight up and down and just snip away, that way you'll have a nice salon look without having to pay ! :D now you might want help from someone you trust to do the back of your hair, and someone that really understands the cut that you want.

and just remember, you might not be too good at first, neither was i, but after practicing a lot you'll be really good ! :D

practice on barbies or something xD thats what i did :p

now i think i've said all i've wanted to say, or if there was more i forgot. haha.

but if your still wondering, feel free to ask me anything ! i'll give you an honest aswer and make sure you've got the best information possible ^-^